Confusion

I'm not sure how I got here. Not really. Not planned, but is anything anymore? All I know is I'm here. A barren rock, contaminated from one too many battle. Shadowing Zhangsun. Again.

Let me back up, because I'm sure this is all very confusing. It has been a while since I've been in one place long enough to even think about getting my thoughts in order. The last few years - more than I'd care to mention, to be honest about it - have been a blur. Training, combat, recruits. So many different stories to tell. But there I am disgressing again.

What matters are the changes; my great fall from grace. From the being apple of their eye to simply a tool, a pawn on the chessboard, to be moved or sacrificed on a whim. Just a pawn, but even so I seem to have great value to them, because here I am, breathing. Too much value I guess to just throw away. And so they wait, to see where I stand. To see if this is all just some ruse, some wheel within a wheel of a higher up. Well, they can wait. I don't plan on running out of time any time soon.

Life here is strange, so different from before. I've fallen in with a bunch of misfits and rebels, scraping out a livin' on a bitter piece of moon.

Everything here's contaminated. Kari, one of the folks making a home out of the place laments that she's heard that green isn't bad everywhere. Here, you see something green, you keep on walking... away from it, if you've got instincts for survival. Yet these people have a heart that I've not seen in a long time. A heart that is earily familiar to the one that I thought I had in my own chest, before the... well, just before.

I do know I respect these people; I haven't felt like an outcast here, they've welcomed me based on my actions, and haven't pried about my history. Like the past matters; all that matters now is the future. And that's why I'm here. For the future. Shadowing Zhangsun.