Dust

It’s amazing how quickly things move back to some semblance of normality. A few days ago my world was in flux, and now it’s not. Everything has moved back to its happy equilibrium, and life in Blackburne continues onward. I got my leg fixed, x0 has started getting her memory back, Nack’s telling bad puns… yes, it’s mostly business as usual.

I say mostly because there’s been another ship crash in Downing. I’m not a big one for coincidences, but it doesn’t smell right to me. Amyla has been fretting about her family ever since, and seems to be threatening to head out there. I hope she doesn’t. I have a bad feeling about it. We’re a mighty vociferous bunch here on Blackburne, but I don’t fancy bein’ involved in a raid to Downing. I don’t see many of us coming back, and I could do without a reality check like that. Of course, I have a sinking feeling that if she goes, she’ll end up stuck there. I can’t imagine Chol being too happy about that. Another thing to worry about, but nothing that I can do anything about. I guess it really is back to the status quo, isn’t it?

Within myself, I’m struggling. Is this all there is? I feel so purposeless. Aimless. Like a speck of dust floating around a room, caught in a shaft of sunlight. I need to kick myself out of this rut, yet there’s no rut really to speak of. I’ve just gotten back, I helped stop a war, I have an injury to nurse. Why do I expect to cram so much into so little time? And yet even in this pause for breath, this little inhalation of life, I crave movement. So much to think about.